ZOO CAMP

So I have begun the awesome adventure that is zoo camp, and it truly is an adventure. Each week a group of students (15-25) come to the zoo for a week of learning, playing, and attacking me with puppets. The classes last from 9:00-3:00, and I have completed camps for kindergartners and the 1st and 2nd graders. This past week was a little crazy. 

First of all, I made it my primary goal to convince the children that giant squids are the best animal in the animal kingdom and that they should make it their favorite animal. This was largely a success. The students started mentioning giant squids periodically throughout the week without any prompting. They started drawing pictures of giant squids on their tables. They decided to call me Mrs. Squid...Okay, okay, so they probably wouldn't have done this on their own. I actually asked them to call me Miss Squid but they changed it, on their own, to Mrs. Squid. Unfortunately, this became problematic when they started asking me about my husband. At first I could Handle the questions

His name?
Oh why Squidy McSquidSquid Of course!


Where does he live?
Under the ocean, deep in the dark blue depths among various monstrosities


Is he rich?
Why else would I marry him?!!


But then the questions took a turn for the awkward


How do you sleep together?
WHAT??? Did you really just ask that question Sebastian? Do you mean it in the way it sounds or are you actually innocent and mean sleeping? Earlier in the camp, a boy named Sam told me that the polar bear and sea lions make love at the window between their exhibits, but he definitely didn't mean it that way. But this boy, I wasn't so sure. I narrowly avoided the question by saying that we had not actually meet each other, having met at the online dating site Okay Cupid. Since he lives so far down in the ocean, I have never been able to visit... Also he died, and I am now a widow.


After that incident, things with giant squids improved vastly, and the week ended with four children claiming the giant squid as their favorite animal! Teachers certainly have a great impact. One day giant squid stuffed animals will be as wide spread as teddy bears. Just you wait!

Beside that glorious success, the rest of the week had some ups and downs. I am learning the great importance of clearly defining the rules and protocols and then consistently enforcing them. The week started out great. The children were attentive and quiet. By Wednesday, this began to change, and Thursday was the day of animosity and hate among the children. Children who attend zoo camp think they know everything about animals. For example, Curtis. When I meet Curtis, the first thing he told me was that he had unlimited snake knowledge and that I should just call him Mr. Snake (this is where I stole the idea for Miss Squid). So you have a room full of kids who pride themselves on their ability to name every snake in Asia. They start to want to show off. On Wednesday, they had begun to shout out their tidbits of knowledge while I was attempting to talk. I didn't think that this was a real problem. "Oh the students are so smart and eager to share information. It doesn't matter if they talk over me and share because they are talking about what we are talking about. Yay for using student resources!" Oh I was wrong, so very very wrong.


Thursday the interruptions were frequent. I couldn't open my mouth without someone else talking over me. It escalated to a tipping point when I brought out an emperor scorpion. Somehow, as I was so earnestly trying to talk about how this is one of the biggest scorpions in the world, 

(what's the biggest?

oh well this is one of the biggest! 

No, but what's the biggest scorpion in the world? 

This one is, I said one of the biggest because some species are close, but this is the biggest. 

No, what's the biggest scorpion in the world? 

This one, the emperor scorpion. I'll drop the "one of the biggest", this is the biggest. Okay!?! 

No, how big is the biggest scorpion in the world- how big was it? 

I don't know that. These get around 8 inches. You'll have to look it up!)

the conversation turned into Connor and Curtis having a go at who knew the most about snakes. How did it even get to snakes??? I had lost control. I thought there was going to be a fight. Eventually, I got the class back together and was answering questions. None of the questions had to do with scorpions, most had to do with snakes or the specific measurements of the largest animals. It got to the point where they would raise their hands and I would ask if their question was about scorpions and they would lower their hands. Eventually I got two kids who kept their hands up.


The first question: "What do scorpions eat?"
The second question: "Never run away from a bear"


I had to leave the classroom